03 June 2009

I Am Not Atlas


I am not Atlas, I cannot bear the weight of the world on my own. I cannot even bear my own world anymore. Sometimes it is too much, too many worries for me to carry on my own. Today I had an epiphany. I want someone who looks after me, who takes care of me. And I mean literally takes care of me. Who puts his arms around me, wipes away my tears and takes away all my worries and sadness. “Here is a bag of money,” he’d say “you don’t have to worry about paying your bills anymore. Here is a decent job for thirty-two hours a week. Go ahead, take it, you’ll enjoy it. I’ll arrange everything for you. I’ll make all the difficult phone calls that may be necessary. I’ll hire someone to do the household. Just stay here in my arms and relax. Close your eyes and let me deal with the world. I’ll take care of you.”

I know this is a fantasy and one that will probably never come true. And I will go to work tomorrow and try to deal with the mess that is called my life. But wouldn’t it be easier if this fantasy came true somehow.

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